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Emperor Cheng of Han favored Zhao Feiyan, who slandered Ban Jieyu and cursed her, so he interrogated her. She said, "I have heard that life and death are determined by fate, and wealth and honor are determined by heaven. If I cannot be blessed by doing good deeds, what is the hope of doing evil deeds? If the ghosts and gods are knowledgeable, they will not accept the complaints of evildoers; if they are ignorant, what is the point of complaining? So I will not do it."
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
Zeng Zi asked: "Can the funeral of a major merit be included in the offering of sacrifices?" Confucius said: "It is not a major merit! "Zengzi asked, "Is it not possible to make sacrifices with light clothes?" Confucius said, "That is not what I mean. In the funerals of the Son of Heaven and the dukes, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the high officials, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the scholars, their friends offer sacrifices; if it is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less; if it is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less." Zengzi asked, "Can small merits be included in the sacrifices?" Confucius said, "Why must it be small merits? Those who are in mourning clothes and below offer sacrifices; that is etiquette." Zengzi asked, "Is it not possible to make sacrifices with light clothes?" Confucius said, "In the funerals of the Son of Heaven and the dukes, those who are not in mourning clothes do not offer sacrifices; the high officials, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the scholars, if the sacrifice is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less." Zengzi asked, "Can acquaintances, if they are in mourning clothes, participate in the sacrifices?" Confucius said, "If you don't offer sacrifices, how can you help others?" Zengzi asked, "Can you take away your mourning clothes and participate in the sacrifices?" ”Confucius said: "Saying mourning and offering sacrifices are not rites; it is OK to reject each other."
After Ji Kang was executed, Shan Gong appointed Kang Zishao as Secretary. When Shao asked the Duke about his whereabouts, the Duke said, "I have been thinking about this for a long time! The four seasons of heaven and earth still have news, let alone people?"
Whenever Huan Ziye heard a beautiful song, he would always cry out, "What can I do?" When Xie Gong heard this, he said, "Ziye is truly a man of deep affection."
Therefore, the crown is worn on the east side to show the generation; it is offered to the guest seat, and it is added three times to show the respect, and it is added to the completion; after the crown is worn, it is called, which is the way of adulthood. When meeting the mother, the mother bows; when meeting the elder brother Brothers pay respect to their younger brothers; when they become adults, they perform etiquette together. The black cap and black end are presented to the king, and then the king shows them to the local officials and local masters; they show them as adults.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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