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Hilarious time travel: The Queen has a cell phone

The Evil Woman's Rebirth into Kindness

A gentleman said: The rites that are close to human nature are not the most extreme. The blood of the suburbs, the fishy offerings of the big feast, three offerings of fire, one offering of the fire. Therefore, a gentleman, in terms of rites, does not create but express his feelings, but has a beginning. Therefore, seven escorts are required to meet each other. Otherwise, it is already sincere. Three refusal and three concessions are required to arrive. Otherwise, it is already frustrated. Therefore, when the people of Lu are going to have an event with the God of Heaven, they must first have an event with the Palace of the God of Heaven; when the people of Jin are going to have an event with the River, they must first have an event with the Pond of E; when the people of Qi are going to have an event with Mount Tai, they must first have an event with the Forest of ... If you want to observe things without following the rites, you will not be able to do so. Therefore, if you do things without following the rites, you will not be respectful. If you speak without following the rites, you will not be trusted. Therefore, it is said: "Rites are the result of things." Therefore, when the ancient kings established rites, they followed the meaning of things according to their wealth. Therefore, when doing great things, you must follow the time of heaven. For morning and evening, you must follow the sun and moon. For high places, you must follow hills. For low places, you must follow rivers and lakes. Therefore, when the weather is right and rain is right, the gentleman will be able to do it. Therefore, the ancient kings valued virtue, respected the way, and appointed the capable; they promoted the virtuous and appointed them, and gathered the people to swear an oath. Therefore, they served the heaven according to the heaven and served the earth according to the earth. They ascended to the middle of the sky according to the famous mountains and worshiped the emperor in the suburbs according to the auspicious land. When they ascended to the middle of the sky, the phoenix descended and the tortoise and dragon came; when they worshiped the emperor in the suburbs, the wind and rain were in season, and the cold and heat were in season. Therefore, the sage stood facing south, and the world was in great order.

Death Snow Dust

Then the bald people do not strip, the hunchbacks do not bare, and the lame people do not jump, not because they are not sad; if the body is sick, it is not suitable for the ritual. Therefore, it is said: the funeral ceremony is mainly about mourning. Women cry and mourn, beat their chests and feel sad; men cry and mourn, bow their heads and touch the ground, which is the extreme of sorrow.

I accidentally made money again

The guests went to Chen Taiqiu to stay overnight, and Taiqiu asked Yuanfang and Jifang to cook. The guest was discussing with Taiqiu, and the two of them brought in fire, both of them were silent and eavesdropping. I forgot to use chopsticks and spatula when cooking, and the rice fell into the pot. Taiqiu asked, "Why don't you cook with steam?" Yuanfang and Jifang knelt down and said, "Your Excellency was talking with a guest, and we were eavesdropping. We forgot to bring chopsticks and a basket when cooking, and now the rice has become porridge." Taiqiu said, "Do you know anything about it?" They replied, "I just remember it." The two men spoke at the same time and took turns to talk, without losing anything. Taiqiu said: "In this case, just eating rice is enough, why do we need rice?"

Fantasy: The Pretty Boy of the Empress

Wang Zhongzu, Xie Renzu and Liu Zhenchang all went to Danyang Tomb to visit Yin Yangzhou, and they had firm determination. After returning, Wang and Xie said to each other, "If the source of the disaster is not restored, what will happen to the common people?" They were deeply worried and sighed. Liu said: "Are you really worried that the source of the problem will not arise?"

The Crazy Son-in-Law

The king offered five sacrifices to the deceased: the son, the grandson, the great-grandson, the great-great-grandson, and the great-great-grandson. The princes offered three sacrifices, the officials offered two sacrifices, and the suitable scholars and common people offered sacrifices to their sons.