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When the senior officials and scholars leave their country, they shall cry for the altar and the country. They shall wear white clothes, white skirts, white caps, white hems, white sandals, and white caps, and ride horses. They shall not be early. They shall not offer food, nor shall they persuade people to be innocent; women shall not be concubines. They shall return to the service after three months.
Wang Ziyou left the capital and was still at the foot of the islet. I had heard before that Huan Ziye was good at playing the flute, but we didn't know each other. The king met Huan passing by on the shore while he was in the boat. A passenger who recognized him said, "This is Huan Ziye." The king then sent someone to tell him, "I heard that you are good at playing the flute. Please try to play it for me." Huan was already noble and prominent at that time. He had always heard of the king's name, so he got off the car, sat on a Hu bed, and played three tunes for him. After finishing, he got in the car. The host and the guest did not exchange a single word.
Chen Yuanfang's son Changwen was a talented person. He and Ji Fang's son Xiaoxian each discussed the merits and virtues of his father, but could not reach a conclusion, so they consulted Taiqiu. Taiqiu said: "Yuanfang is difficult to be a brother, and Jifang is difficult to be a younger brother."
When Xiahou Xuan was put in shackles, Zhong Yu was appointed as the Minister of Justice. Zhong Hui, who did not know Xuan at first, became close to him. Xuan said, "Although I am a survivor of torture, I dare not obey your order!" He said nothing during the interrogation at first, but his expression did not change when he was about to be executed in the East Market.
No one can escape the funeral procession unless they follow the coffin and cry. In all funerals, from minor to major, no bathing is allowed unless there are auspicious signs such as the mourning clothes and the funeral rites. In the case of a funeral of a young man, after the burial, if someone asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased; but if no one asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased. In the case of a minor funeral, then he can see the deceased if he asks to see the deceased. In the case of a major funeral, then he does not need to hold the coffin. Only in the case of a parent’s funeral, one does not need to weep and see the deceased. In the case of a three-year funeral, auspicious signs are followed; in the case of a full-term funeral, one cries and follows the deceased’s funeral; in the case of a nine-month funeral, after the burial, one follows the deceased’s funeral; in the case of a minor funeral, after the funeral, one follows the deceased’s funeral. Zeng Shen asked Zeng Zi, “Is there a fixed sound for crying parents?” Zeng Zi replied, “A baby lost its mother on the way, so what fixed sound is there?” ”
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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