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There are three reasons for not mourning a death: fear, disgust, and drowning.
As a son, you should not live in the main hall, sit in the middle of the seat, walk in the middle of the road, or stand in the middle of the door. Food is not for the sake of abundance, and sacrifice is not for the sake of corpses. Listen to the silent and see the invisible. Do not climb high, do not stand near deep places. Don't criticize carelessly, don't smile carelessly.
The brothers Wang Ziyou and Zijing appreciated the descendants of the great scholar and praised him together. Zi Jing admired Jing Dan's nobleness, and Zi You said, "I am not as scornful as Chang Qing."
When Ji Wuzi was ill, he went to see him without saying "Qi Sui". He said, "This way of life will soon be lost. Only gentlemen can say Qi Sui in public." Wuzi said, "Isn't that good? Gentlemen should show their modesty." When he was buried, Zeng Dian leaned against his door and sang.
Only when the emperor mourns, people of different surnames cry. Duke Ai of Lu mourned Confucius, saying: "Heaven does not spare the old, and no one will give me a position. Alas, my father!" When a large county was destroyed, the dukes, ministers, officials, and scholars all wore their caps and cried in the great temple for three days, but the king did not raise the flag. Some said: The king raised the flag and cried in front of Hou Tu. Confucius hated people crying in the wild. Those who have not yet taken office dare not tax people; if they tax people, they should follow the orders of their fathers and brothers. Scholars should prepare themselves and dance morning and evening. They should wear mourning clothes for auspicious occasions, and they should mourn in the same month and move to the next month for music. The king has a gift of cloth to scholars.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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