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Deng Ai stuttered and called himself "Ai Ai". King Wen of Jin teased him and said, "You say 'Ai Ai', how many Ai are you talking about?" He replied, "Phoenix, Phoenix, so it is one Phoenix."
People with the same surname follow the clan and are of the same clan; people with different surnames follow the name and govern the society. Names are written, but men and women are different. If the husband belongs to the father's way, his wife is the mother's way; if the husband belongs to the son's way, his wife is the wife's way. If the brother's wife is called "wife", can the sister-in-law also be called "mother"? Name is the most important thing in human governance, so can we not be careful? After four generations, the mourning period is exhausted; after five generations, the same surname is killed. After six generations, the relatives are exhausted. The common surnames are distinguished at the top, and the relatives are at the bottom. Can marriages be allowed? They are tied by surnames and are not distinguished, and they are tied by food and are not different. Even if a hundred generations, marriages cannot be allowed, this is the way of Zhou.
Zixia said: "The words are great! Beautiful! Magnificent! Is it all that is said?" Confucius said: "Why is it so? The gentleman's clothes still have five rises." Zixia said: "How is it?" Confucius said: "The music without sound, the spirit and will are not violated; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are slow; the mourning without clothes, the inner forgiveness is sad. The music without sound, the spirit and will are obtained; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are cautious; the mourning without clothes is applied to the four countries. The music without sound, the spirit and will are in accordance with; the etiquette without form, the upper and lower are in harmony; the mourning without clothes, to keep all nations. The music without sound is heard in all directions every day; the ritual without form is heard day by day; the mourning without mourning clothes is pure virtue and wisdom. The music without sound is aroused; the ritual without form is spread to the four seas; the mourning without mourning clothes is spread to Sun Tzu. "
When Wang Lantian was appointed as an official in Yangzhou, the chief clerk asked for a taboo, and was instructed: "Our late ancestor was famous throughout the country and was known far and wide. If the taboo is not known to the public, there is nothing to be tabooed about."
Grand Tutor Xie asked the chief clerk Lu Tui, "Why did Zhang Ping write a eulogy for his mother but not for his father?" Tui replied, "It is because a man's virtue is shown in his deeds, and a woman's beauty cannot be revealed without a eulogy."
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