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When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
When Duke Zhuang of Lu was buried, the coffin was not brought into the storehouse. After the scholars and officials finished crying, the hemp was not brought in.
Kong Cheqi was traveling with Zhongcheng. They met Kuang Shu on the imperial road. He was accompanied by many guests, so Kong went over to talk with Cheqi. Zhong Cheng didn't look at it at first, and said directly: "Even if an eagle turns into a dove, other birds still hate its eyes." Shu was furious and wanted to kill him. The cavalryman got off the car, hugged Shu and said, "My cousin has gone mad, please forgive him for me!" Only then did he save the leader.
Duke Xian of Wei fled and returned to Wei. When he reached the suburbs, he was about to arrange the city with his followers before entering. Liuzhuang said, "If everyone guards the altar of the state, who will hold the reins and follow; if everyone follows, who will guard the altar of the state? If the king returns to his country and has private interests, isn't it wrong?" He did not arrange the city.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
The general principles of all rituals are to follow the heaven and earth, follow the four seasons, follow the yin and yang, and follow human nature, so they are called rituals. Those who criticize them do not know where rituals come from. Rituals, good and bad, are different, and cannot be interrelated, which is derived from yin and yang. There are four rules for mourning, which change according to the situation, which is derived from the four seasons. There are grace, reason, moderation, and power, which are derived from human nature. Grace is benevolence, reason is righteousness, moderation is ritual, and power is knowledge. Benevolence, righteousness, propriety, and wisdom are all human nature.
When Lu Shiheng first entered Luoyang, he asked Zhang Gong where he should visit; Liu Daozhen was one of them. After Lu left, Liu was still in mourning. He was fond of drinking, and after the ceremony, he said nothing else at first, only asked: "There is a long-handled Hu Lu in Dongwu, can you get some?" The Lu brothers were very disappointed and regretted going.
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