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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Wang Zijing asked Xie Gong: "How does Lin Gong compare to Yu Gong?" Xie Shu refused and replied: "The predecessors did not talk about it at first. Yu Gong is more than Lin Gong."
There was a great historian in Wei named Liu Zhuang who was ill. The Duke said, "If the illness worsens, you must inform me even if you are supposed to offer sacrifices." The Duke bowed twice and asked for the corpse, saying, "There is a minister named Liu Zhuang, who is not my minister, but a minister of the state. I heard that he died, so I will go." He went without taking off his mourning clothes, and then wrapped him up. He gave him the name of the Qiu family in the city and the name of the Pan family in the county, and put it in the coffin, saying, "My descendants will be there for generations, and there will be no change."
Sun Xiu liked to shoot pheasants. When it came to the time to shoot, he would leave in the morning and return in the evening. All the ministers advised: "This is a small thing, why bother with it so much?" Xiu said: "Although it is a small thing, it is more upright than others, that is why I like it."
Wang Shuang was drinking with Sima Taifu. The Grand Tutor was drunk and called the king "boy." The king said, "My late grandfather, the Chief Secretary, was a friend of Emperor Jianwen. My late aunt and sister were married and had two concubines. How can they be called boys?"
Someone asked Yuan Shizhong, "How does Yin Zhongkan compare to Han Kangbo?" He replied, "In terms of reason and righteousness, it is hard to tell who is better or worse; but in the quiet courtyard, there are still famous scholars, and Yin is not as good as Han." Therefore, Yin wrote a eulogy: "Jingmen is closed during the day, and the idle courtyard is peaceful."
Confucius shot in the garden of the prime minister, and the spectators were like a wall. When shooting reached Sima, he asked Zilu to hold the bow and arrow, and went out to shoot and said: "The generals of the Ben army, the great officials who lost the country, and those who were behind others will not enter, and the rest will enter." Half of them left and half entered. He also ordered Gongwangzhiqiu and Xudian to hold up a cup and speak. Gongwangzhiqiu held up a cup and spoke, saying: "Those who are filial and respectful to their brothers when young and strong, and who are courteous and polite when old and old, who do not follow the trend and cultivate themselves to wait for death, are not in this position." Half of them left, and half stayed. Xudian held up a cup again and spoke, saying: "Those who are eager to learn, who are unchanging in their love of etiquette, and who praise the way without disorder during the period of the flag period, are not in this position." Only those who survived.
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