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Yu Liang'er was killed by Su Junnan. Zhuge Daoming's daughter was Yu Er's wife. After she became a widow, she was about to remarry and wrote a letter to Liang about it. Liang replied, "The virtuous girl is still young, so it is appropriate. She is grateful for her lost son, as if he were still alive."
Zeng Zi asked: "How can the sacrifice not be performed?" Confucius said: "I heard that in a minor auspicious event, the host performs the sacrifice without offering sacrifices, and offers sacrifices to the guests, but the guests do not raise them. This is the etiquette. In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu performed sacrifices and offered sacrifices to the guests, which was not etiquette; Duke Xiao of Lu performed a major auspicious event, but did not offer sacrifices, which was also not etiquette. "
Wang Zijing asked Xie Gong: "How does Lin Gong compare to Yu Gong?" Xie Shu refused and replied: "The predecessors did not talk about it at first. Yu Gong is more than Lin Gong."
When a lord is alive, he does not wear jade. He should tie the jade with his left hand and set it with his right hand. When he is at home, he should set it. When he is in the morning, he should tie the jade with his right hand and wear the jade with his right hand. He must wear jade with his belt, except when he is at a funeral. Wearing jade has teeth; a gentleman does not take off jade without reason, and a gentleman compares virtue to jade. The emperor wears white jade and a black ribbon, dukes wear mountain black jade and a red ribbon, officials wear water blue jade and a pure ribbon, the crown prince wears Yu jade and a red ribbon, and scholars wear 瓀玟 and a 缊 ribbon. Confucius wears an elephant ring five inches long and a red ribbon.
The etiquette of drinking in the village: those who are sixty sit, and those who are fifty stand and wait to listen to government affairs, so as to show respect for the elders. Those who are sixty have three beans, those who are seventy have four beans, those who are eighty have five beans, and those who are ninety have six beans, so as to show the care for the elderly. When the people know how to respect the elders and care for the elderly, they can then enter filial piety and brotherhood. When the people enter filial piety and brotherhood, they respect the elders and care for the elderly, and then the teaching is established. After the teaching is established, the country can be at peace. What a gentleman calls filial piety is not to see it every day when you come home; to gather the people in the village to shoot, teach them the etiquette of drinking in the village, and then the behavior of filial piety and brotherhood will be established.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
When Ruan Xuanzi had a good reputation, the Grand Commandant Wang Yifu saw him and asked, "Are the teachings of Laozi and Zhuangzi similar or different from those of the sages?" Ruan Xuanzi replied, "There may be no similarities." The Grand Commandant was pleased with his words and appointed him as an official. People in the world call him "three-language official". Wei Jie mocked him and said, “One word can refute it, why bother with three?” Xuan Zi said, “If he is respected by the world, I can refute him without saying a word, why bother with one word?” So they became friends.
Xie Zhonglang was Wang Lantian's son-in-law. He once wore a white silk scarf and went to Yangzhou to listen to the king's affairs. He said frankly: "People say that you are stupid, but you believe that you are stupid." Lantian said: "It is true that there is no such opinion, but it is too late."
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