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During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Yuan Yue is eloquent, good at speaking both long and short sentences, and also has precise logic. He first served as a military officer under Xie Xuan and was treated with great courtesy. After Ding Jian died, he returned to the capital after his mourning period, and only supported the Warring States Policy. He said to people, "When I was young, I read the Analects of Confucius and Laozi, and also read Zhuangzi and Yi Jing. These are all painful things. What good can they do? The most important thing in the world is the Strategies of the Warring States." After he went down, he persuaded King Sima Xiaowen, who treated him very well and almost disrupted his plans. Soon he was executed.
The brothers Wu Daozhu and Fuzi lived in Danyang County. Later, his mother, children and wife suffered hardships, and they cried day and night. When Si arrived, guests came to pay their respects, wailing and mourning, and passers-by shed tears. Han Kangbo was the prefect of Danyang at the time. His mother Yin was also in the county. Whenever he heard the cries of the two Wus, he would feel sad. He said to Kang Bo: "If you are selecting officials, you should take good care of this man." Kang Bo also knew him very well. Han later became the Minister of Personnel. The Great Wu could not avoid the mourning system, and the Small Wu became very powerful.
When Wen Bo died, Jing Jiang sat on his bed without crying, saying, "In the past, I had Si Zi, and I thought he would be a wise man, so I never went to the public office; now when he died, none of my friends and ministers shed tears, but the women in the house all cried loudly. Si Zi must have been very unruly!" When Ji Kangzi's mother died, he laid out his underwear. Jing Jiang said, "A woman who does not wear clothes dare not meet her parents-in-law. There will be guests from all over the world coming. Why should she display her underwear here?" She ordered to remove it.
If the guest is not here to eat or drink, then a table will be laid out with a space of one meter between them. The host kneels at the table, and the guest kneels and touches the table to leave. The guest left the seat, but the host refused. The guest stepped onto the mat and sat down. If the host doesn't ask, the guest shouldn't raise his question first. I will improvise, so don't be embarrassed. Use both hands to pull the clothes up to the ruler. Do not tear your clothes and do not step on your feet.
The Master said: “A ruler of a country should make clear what is good and what is bad, so as to show the people kindness, and then the people will not be double-minded. The Book of Songs says: ‘Be calm and share your position, and be good at being upright. ’” The Master said: “If the superior is suspicious, the people will be confused; if the subordinate is difficult to know, the ruler will be overworked. Therefore, a ruler who governs the people should make clear what is good to show the people, be careful of what is bad to prevent the people from being licentious, and then the people will not be confused. The ministers should follow the manners, not be heavy-handed, not support what they cannot do, and not bother what they do not know, and then the ruler will not be overworked. The Book of Songs says: ‘The God is strict, and the people are at peace. ’ The Xiaoya says: ‘It is not that they only share, but that the king is in harmony. ’”
When Xie E was young, he liked to hold a purple silk sachet and hang it over his hand. The Grand Tutor was worried about it, but did not want to offend him, so he made a bet and burned it as soon as he could.
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