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In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
Meng Jia of Wuchang was an official of Yu Taiwei and was already well-known. Taifu Zhu had the ability to judge people. After leaving Yuzhang, he returned and passed by Wuchang. He asked Yu, "I heard that Meng Congshi is good. Is he here now?" Yu said, "You can go and find him yourself." Zhu stared at him for a long time, pointed at Jia and said, "This man is a little different. Could he be the right one?" Yu laughed and said, "Yes!" At that time, he admired Zhu's insight and was also happy that Jia appreciated him.
According to the etiquette of eating, the meat is placed on the left and the stew is placed on the right, the food is placed on the left and the soup is placed on the right. Outside the roasted part, inside the vinegar and sauce part, at the end of the scallion part, and on the right of the wine part. For those who use preserved meat, the left side is the top and the right side is the end. If the guest descends to a lower level and holds the food to say goodbye, the host will say goodbye to the guest, and then the guest will sit down. The host invites the guests to offer a sacrifice: the sacrificial food and the sacrificial objects are presented first. Confusion of order, and offering sacrifices to all. At the third meal, the host invites the guests to eat the meat, and then they debate. If the host does not argue, the guest will not speak in vain.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Taoist Lin went to see Mr. Xie. He was a child in Dongyang. He had just recovered from an illness and was not yet able to bear the hard work. After discussing with Mr. Lin, they ended up quarreling with each other. His mother, Lady Wang, listened to it from behind the wall, and then sent another letter ordering him to return, but the Grand Tutor kept him. Mrs. Wang then went out and said, "My new wife suffered a family tragedy when she was young. This child is all I have for my life." She burst into tears and took the child home. Mr. Xie said to his companions, "My sister-in-law's speech was so passionate and impressive that it is worthy of being passed down. I regret that I did not allow the officials to see it."
When Liu Daozhen was young, he often fished in the marshes. He was good at singing and whistling, and everyone who heard him would linger. There was an old woman who recognized that he was not an ordinary person and was very pleased with his singing and whistling, so she killed a pig and presented it to him. Daozhen ate all the pork and didn't even thank him. Seeing that she was not full, the old woman offered another piece of pork, ate half and the rest, and then returned it. Later he became a Lang of the Ministry of Personnel, and the old woman became a Xiao Lingshi, and Daozhen made great use of her. He didn't know why, so he asked his mother, and his mother told him. So he brought an ox and some wine to Daozhen, who said, "Go away! Go away! I have nothing to offer you."
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