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After Ji Zhongsan was executed, Xiang Ziqi reported the county to Luoyang. King Wen of the Zhou Dynasty invited him in and asked, "I heard that you have ambitions to go to Jishan. Why are you here?" Xiang Ziqi replied, "Chao and Xu are both arrogant and servile people. They are not worth admiring." The king was greatly impressed.
Wang Sizhou once went to Wang Chixu on the snow. Sizhou said that there was something wrong with Chi's mood, so he became unhappy. Sizhou felt evil, so he went to him on a sedan chair, held his arm and said, "How can you be worthy of discussing this with me, old man?" The Chi pushed his hand away and said, "You are as cold as a ghost's hand, and you are trying to grab my arm by force!"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. 鈥 He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
When Huan Nanjun was a child, he and his brothers raised geese and fought together. The geese in Nanjun were always inferior to him, and he was very angry. That night he went to the goose pen, took all the brothers' geese and killed them. At dawn, all the family members were frightened, thinking it was a strange thing, and they rode in a white carriage. The cavalry said, "There is nothing to be surprised about. It must be a joke from Nanjun!" When asked, it turned out to be true.
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