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Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
Xie Youyu said: "My friend Wang Meizi is clear and fluent, Ji Yanzu is broad-minded, elegant and profound, and Dong Zhongdao is outstanding and well-mannered."
Zengzi said: "The filial son provides for the elderly by making his heart happy and not violating his will, making his ears and eyes happy, making his bed comfortable, and providing him with food and drink. The filial son who is loyal to the parents provides for the whole life. The whole life is not the whole life of the parents, but the whole life of the parents. Therefore, the parents also love what they love and respect what they respect. This is true even for dogs and horses, let alone humans!" Regarding the provision of elderly care, the Five Emperors had regulations and the Three Kings had requests for advice. The Five Emperors followed the rule of nurturing the spirit and not asking for advice. If they did something good, they would record it as a dunshi. The Three Kings also followed the rule of nurturing the elderly and then asking for advice. They also did not follow the etiquette and all had dunshi.
Even if there are delicious dishes, if you don't eat them, you don't know their taste; even if there are the ultimate truth, if you don't learn it, you don't know its goodness. Therefore, only after learning can you know your shortcomings, and only after teaching can you know your difficulties. Knowing your shortcomings, you can reflect on yourself; knowing your difficulties, you can strengthen yourself. Therefore, it is said that teaching and learning complement each other. "The Book of Changes" says: "Learning is half done." Is this what it means!
Whenever Shi Chong invited guests to a banquet, he would always ask beauties to serve wine. If a guest does not finish drinking, the eunuch will order the beauty to be beheaded. Prime Minister Wang and the general once visited Chong together. The Prime Minister could not drink, but he forced himself to drink until he became drunk. Whenever he met the general, he would not drink, in order to observe the changes. He had already killed three people, but his expression remained the same and he still refused to drink. The Prime Minister declined the offer, but the General said, "It is none of your business to kill his family members!"
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