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Taifu Xie gathered on a snowy day to discuss the meaning of the essay with his children. Suddenly it started snowing heavily. The Duke said happily, "What does the falling snow look like?" His brother's son Hu'er said, "It's somewhat like salt being sprinkled in the air." His brother's daughter said, "But not as good as willow catkins flying in the wind." The Duke laughed heartily. She is the daughter of your elder brother Wu Yi, and the wife of General-Left Wang Ning.
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
When Xiao Yu was in Jingzhou, the Duke held a large meeting and asked his officials, "How would I like to be like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei?" No one answered. The Chief Secretary Jiang Fei said, "I would like you to be like Emperor Huan and Emperor Wen, but not like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei."
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
General Wang wrote to Emperor Yuan: "Shu Feng is simple and upright, and he is a refined person. He is more profound than others. He is the one I have known since I was young. Yi Fu and Cheng said: 'You know Chu Ming and Mao Hong. Mao Hong has a good reputation, and he really matches your clear opinion. Chu Ming is close to no one who knows him. I always take your words into consideration, but I have not achieved anything. I am afraid you have regretted it.' I said with emotion: 'You have tried it with this, and only recently have people praised him.' It means that ordinary people are worried that knowing too much will lead to mistakes, and not knowing how to live up to the reality."
The one who presents the table and the staff should brush it. The one who imitates a horse or a sheep should lead it with his right hand; the one who imitates a dog should lead it with his left hand. The one who holds a bird should hold it with his left hand. The one who decorates lambs and geese should hold it with a silk cloth. The one who receives pearls and jade should hold it with his hands. The one who receives a bow and sword should hold it with his sleeves. The one who drinks from a jade cup should not wave it. Anyone who asks for a bow, sword, bag, or basket to ask for a favor should hold it as if he were receiving a favor, just like a messenger.
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