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When Duke Wen was first persuaded to ascend the throne by the envoy of Prime Minister Liu, his mother, Cui, insisted on staying, so Jiao broke off his sleeve and left. Even though he was highly respected, his local status was still not higher than others. An imperial edict was issued for each title.
Zhong Shiji's reporter Wang Anfeng: Arong understands people's intentions. It is said that Pei Gong’s talks never stop. There was a vacancy in the Ministry of Personnel, and Emperor Wen asked Zhong Hui for the right person. Hui said, "Pei Kai is clear and fluent, and Wang Rong is concise, both are the right choices." So he appointed Pei.
Whenever Huan Changshi heard people talking about Lord Shen, he would say, "This man has a long-standing reputation, is well-known by our ancestors, and is also a close friend of our ancestors. It is not appropriate to talk about him."
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Han Shou was handsome, so Jia Chong appointed him as an official. Whenever Chong had a party, Jia's daughter would look through the green jade and see Shou, and she would be attracted by him. Always keep your thoughts in mind and express them in poetry. Later, the maid went to Shou's house and told him everything, and also said that the girl was radiant and beautiful. Shou was moved when he heard this, so he asked his maid to secretly communicate with him. Go there and stay at the appointed time. Shou Qiao was extremely agile and he climbed over the wall and entered the house without anyone knowing. Since then, Chong realized that Nu Sheng was wiping herself and her words were different from usual. Later, when he met with other officials, he heard that the shou had a strange fragrance, which was a tribute from foreign countries. If one person ate one chopstick, he would be able to eat it for months. I thought that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty only gave this incense to myself and Chen Qian, and no other family had this incense. I suspected that Shou had an affair with a girl, but the walls were heavy and the doors were steep. How could she have gotten there? He then made an excuse that there was a thief and ordered people to repair the wall. The envoy replied, "The rest is normal, except for the northeast corner where there seem to be traces of people. And the wall is too high for people to climb over." Chong then called the maids on either side of the girl for questioning, and they told him the situation. He kept it a secret and married his daughter to Shou.
Xie Huzi once went up to the roof to smoke rats. Since Hu'er had no way of knowing what his father had done, he heard people say, "Only a fool would do such a thing." Joking about it. The saying of the time is not the only one that can make this mistake. The Taifu realized his ignorance and, following his words, said to Hu'er, "People in the world are slandering Zhonglang for this, and also saying that I was involved in this." Hu'er was upset and stayed at home for a month without going out. The Taifu falsely cited his own mistakes to enlighten others, which can be regarded as moral teaching.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
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