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Someone asked: "What is the cane for?" The answer is: a filial son who has lost his parents cries countless times, serves for three years, and becomes sick and thin, so he uses a cane to support the sick. If the father is still alive, he dare not use a cane, because the respected person is still alive; he does not use a cane in the hall, because he avoids the respected person's place; he does not rush in the hall, because he is not in a hurry. This is the will of a filial son, the reality of human nature, and the principle of etiquette and righteousness. It does not come from heaven or earth, but is just human nature.
All the famous scholars went to Luo River to play. When he returned, the music director asked Wang Yifu, "Did you have fun today?" Wang Yifu replied, "Pei Pushe is good at talking about logic and philosophy, and his words are elegant; Zhang Maoxian's discussion of history and the Han Dynasty is fascinating; Wang Anfeng and I talked about Yanling and Zifang, and our discussions were also profound."
Minister Xi and Mr. Xie were on good terms. He often said: "Xie Qingxu's knowledge and insights are not without peer, but they can make you feel exhausted."
When Xi Jiabin died, his wife's brothers wanted to bring their sister back, but she refused to come. He said: "Even if I cannot live in the same room with Xi Lang, I would rather not be buried in the same grave with him after death!"
What is a cane? It is a title. On the third day, a son is given a cane, on the fifth day, a senior official is given a cane, and on the seventh day, a scholar is given a cane. Some say it is used to carry the main load; some say it is used to assist the sick. Women and children do not use a cane, and they cannot be sick. All officials and all things are ready. Those who do things without speaking are helped up; those who do things after speaking are helped up; those who do things themselves before walking have dirty faces. Bald people do not wear their hair, hunchbacks do not bare their shoulders, and lame people do not dance. The old and the sick do not stop drinking and eating meat. All these eight are controlled by power.
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
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