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When consulting an elder, one must hold a stick and follow his lead. It is impolite to answer an elder's question without declining.
Confucius said: "How does an archer shoot? How does he listen? He who follows the sound and shoots without missing the target is only a virtuous man! How can an unworthy man hit the target?" The Book of Songs says: "Shoot what he has, in order to pray for your wine." Pray means to ask; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse the wine. Wine is used to nourish the elderly and to cure illness; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse nourishment.
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
Wang Ziyou went to Xi Yongzhou. Inside Yongzhou, he saw something called (ximao) (dengmao) and said, "How did Aqina get this thing?" He ordered his attendants to send it back home. Xi came out to meet him, and the king said, "Just now there was a strong man who carried it and ran away." Xi showed no sign of disobedience.
The gentleman said: Great virtue is not an official, the great way is not an instrument, the great trust is not an agreement, and the great time is not uniform. Observing these four things, you can be determined to study the root.
Then why is it three years? Answer: The closest relatives are separated by a period. Why is that? Answer: The heaven and earth have changed, the four seasons have changed, and everything in the heaven and earth has been renewed, so it is a symbol. Then why is it three years? Answer: It is to add more, so why double it, so it is a double period. Why is it from September to below? Answer: Why not make it less than that. Therefore, three years is a period of mourning, a small mourning is a period of mourning, and a period of nine months is a period of mourning. Take the image from the sky above, the law from the earth below, and the example from people in the middle, and the principle of human beings living together and in harmony is complete. Therefore, the three-year mourning is the most elegant of human nature, and this is called the most solemn. This is the same for all kings, and the same for ancient and modern times, but no one knows where it comes from. Confucius said: "After three years of life, one can escape from the embrace of parents; the three-year mourning is the most common mourning in the world."
The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
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