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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Emperor Ming of Wei asked his younger brother Mao Zeng to sit with Xiahou Xuan, and people at that time said it was "reeds leaning against jade trees."
The Master said: 鈥淎 ruler of a country should make clear what is good and what is bad, so as to show the people kindness, and then the people will not be double-minded. The Book of Songs says: 鈥楤e calm and share your position, and be good at being upright. 鈥欌 The Master said: 鈥淚f the superior is suspicious, the people will be confused; if the subordinate is difficult to know, the ruler will be overworked. Therefore, a ruler who governs the people should make clear what is good to show the people, be careful of what is bad to prevent the people from being licentious, and then the people will not be confused. The ministers should follow the manners, not be heavy-handed, not support what they cannot do, and not bother what they do not know, and then the ruler will not be overworked. The Book of Songs says: 鈥楾he God is strict, and the people are at peace. 鈥 The Xiaoya says: 鈥業t is not that they only share, but that the king is in harmony. 鈥欌
Wang Xiuling asked Wang Changshi: "How does my family, Linchuan, compare to your family, Wanling?" Changshi did not answer, Xiuling said: "Linchuan is well-known for its high reputation." Changshi said: "Wanling is not unworthy."
When Xie E was young, he liked to hold a purple silk sachet and hang it over his hand. The Grand Tutor was worried about it, but did not want to offend him, so he made a bet and burned it as soon as he could.
Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."
Today's teachers groan about their divination, ask a lot of questions, talk about numbers, and advance without caring about their safety. They make people not sincere, and teach people not to use their talents; their application is perverse, and their pursuit is foolish. That is why they hide their learning and hate their teachers, suffer from the difficulty and do not know the benefit. Even if they finish their studies, they will soon leave. Is this the reason why teaching is not a punishment?
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