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When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
After Ji Zhongsan was executed, Xiang Ziqi reported the county to Luoyang. King Wen of the Zhou Dynasty invited him in and asked, "I heard that you have ambitions to go to Jishan. Why are you here?" Xiang Ziqi replied, "Chao and Xu are both arrogant and servile people. They are not worth admiring." The king was greatly impressed.
Zhi Daolin, Xu, and Xie Shengde gathered at Wang's house. Xie Gu said to everyone: "Today can be called a gathering of Yan. Time cannot be kept, and this gathering is certainly not going to last long. We should talk and chant together to express our feelings." Xu then asked the host if he had Zhuangzi. Just got an article about fisherman. After thanking him for reading the question, he asked the four people to communicate. Zhi Daoling was the first to compose a poem of about 700 words, which was elegant and brilliant in narration, and outstanding in talent and rhetoric, and was praised by everyone. Then the four people sitting there each expressed their thoughts. Xie asked, "Have you all finished speaking?" They all said, "We have exhausted all our words today." Xie felt that it was difficult to speak, so he explained his thoughts himself in more than ten thousand words, with his talent and elegance. It is difficult for him to do it, but he also tries to be ambitious and contented, and everyone around him is annoyed by it. Zhi said to Xie: "You went there once, so you are doing well again."
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
Sima Taifu was sitting in his study at night. At that time, the sky and the moon were bright and clear without any cloud. The Grand Tutor sighed and thought it was excellent. Xie Jingzhong was sitting there and replied, "I think it is not as good as a little cloud." The Grand Tutor then jokingly said to Xie, "Your heart is not pure, and you still want to pollute the Taiqing?"
After crying, taboos are used. In etiquette, do not taboo names that are disliked. Two names are not tabooed. If you are in the service of your parents, you should taboo the king's parents; if you are not in the service of your parents, you should not taboo the king's parents. The king has no private taboos, and the nobles have public taboos. There is no taboo in the "Book of Songs" and "Book of Documents", and there is no taboo in writing. There is no taboo in the temple. The taboos of wives, even in front of the king, are not taboos; women do not taboo when leaving home. There is no taboo for major or minor merits. Ask about the prohibitions when entering the country, ask about the customs when entering the country, and ask about the taboos when entering the door.
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