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When the father is in mourning, the sons in the palace cannot participate in the music. When the mother is in mourning, If the sound is heard, do not play music. If the wife is in mourning, do not play music beside her. When a great achievement is about to come, set aside the zither and the harp. When a small achievement comes, do not stop the music.
When Kong Wenju was ten years old, he went to Luo with his father. At that time, Li Yuanli was famous and served as the Inspector of the Capital Region. Only those with outstanding talents and reputation, as well as those who were his cousins, were allowed to visit him. When Wen Ju arrived at the gate, he said to the clerk, "I am the relative of Lord Li." After being let in, he sat down in front. Yuanli asked, "What is the relationship between you and me?" He replied, "In the past, my ancestor Confucius and your ancestor Boyang had a teacher-student relationship. So you and I have been friends for generations." Yuanli and the guests were all surprised. When Taizhong Daifu Chen Wei arrived later, people told him the same words. Wei said, “A child who is very smart when he is young may not be a good person when he grows up!” Wen Ju said, “I think you must have been very smart when you were young!” Wei was very embarrassed.
When Xie Yi was the magistrate of Shan, an old man broke the law, so Xie punished him by giving him strong liquor, even until he was drunk, but he was still not satisfied. The Taifu was seven or eight years old at the time. He was wearing blue cloth trousers and sitting beside his brother's knees. He advised him, "Brother! The old man is pitiful. Why do you do this?" Yi then changed his expression and said, "Anu, do you want to let him go?" Then he sent him away.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
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