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Invite the guest, "Throw it in order. If the two throws are not released, the winner will drink. After the cup is served, please set up a horse for the winner. One horse follows two horses. After three horses are set up, please celebrate with more horses." The host asked the host to do the same.
Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
When Dai Yuan was young, he was a knight-errant who did not discipline himself and often attacked and robbed merchants between the Yangtze River and the Huai River. When Lu Ji returned to Luoyang for vacation, he had a huge baggage train. Yuan sent the young men to plunder. Yuan was on the shore, sitting on a Hu couch, directing his men and women, and they all did their job appropriately. Yuan was a man of great talent and intelligence. Although he was in a humble position, his spirit was still extraordinary. Ji said to him from afar on the boat, "You are so talented, but you still want to cause trouble?" Yuan burst into tears, threw his sword back to Ji, and spoke harshly to him. Ji valued him more and made him his friend, and wrote a letter to recommend him. After crossing the river, he was promoted to General Zhengxi.
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
When Mu Bo died, Jing Jiang cried during the day; when Wen Bo died, she cried day and night. Confucius said, "You know etiquette."
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