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Zhai Daoyuan from Nanyang and Zhou Zinan from Runan were friends since childhood and they hid in Xunyang together. General Yu persuaded Zhou about current affairs, and Zhou took office. Zhai Bing's determination became even stronger. Later, Zhou visited Zhai, but Zhai refused to speak to him.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Liu Jian served as the deputy governor of Huan Xuanwu, and later as a military officer of the Eastern Cao. He was quite unpopular because of his uprightness. I have listened to the record and was speechless. Xuanwu asked: "Why doesn't Liu Dongcao agree?" He replied: "It cannot be used." Xuanwu did not look surprised.
Sikong Gu He was having a conversation with the wise men of the time. Zhang Xuanzhi and Gu Fu, the grandson of the middle-aged man and the grandson of the great-grandson, both seven years old, were playing beside the bed. When he heard the words, his expression seemed to be irrelevant. Sleeping under the lamp, the two children narrated the host's words, without missing anything. Gu Gong crossed the table and lifted his ear, saying: "I never thought that a declining clan would revive this treasure."
When Xie Wan went on the northern expedition, he often whistled and sang to show off his superiority, and never tried to comfort his soldiers. Xie Gong loved Wan very much, but he knew that he would definitely fail, so he went with him. Congrong said to Wan: "You are the marshal, you should invite the generals to banquets more often to win their hearts." Wan followed his advice. He summoned all the generals, but none of them said anything. He just pointed at the four people sitting around him and said, "You are all strong soldiers." The generals were very angry. In order to express his gratitude and trust, Mr. Xie personally visited everyone from the captain of the army to the commander-in-chief and expressed his sincere gratitude. When everything went wrong, the army wanted to get rid of him. He then said, "I should become a hermit." So fortunately he was spared.
Wang Shuang was drinking with Sima Taifu. The Grand Tutor was drunk and called the king "boy." The king said, "My late grandfather, the Chief Secretary, was a friend of Emperor Jianwen. My late aunt and sister were married and had two concubines. How can they be called boys?"
The king offered five sacrifices to the deceased: the son, the grandson, the great-grandson, the great-great-grandson, and the great-great-grandson. The princes offered three sacrifices, the officials offered two sacrifices, and the suitable scholars and common people offered sacrifices to their sons.
When Huan Nanjun was a child, he and his brothers raised geese and fought together. The geese in Nanjun were always inferior to him, and he was very angry. That night he went to the goose pen, took all the brothers' geese and killed them. At dawn, all the family members were frightened, thinking it was a strange thing, and they rode in a white carriage. The cavalry said, "There is nothing to be surprised about. It must be a joke from Nanjun!" When asked, it turned out to be true.
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