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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
Duke Xian of Jin died, Duke Mu of Qin sent people to offer condolences to Prince Chong'er, and said, "I have heard that the loss of a country is always here, and the recovery of a country is always here. Although my son is in mourning, the mourning cannot be too long, and the time cannot be lost. You should plan it." He told his uncle Fan, who said, "You should refuse it. A bereaved person has no treasure, but a loving relative is a treasure. What is the point of the father's death? And you think it is profitable, but who in the world can persuade you? You should refuse it." Prince Chong'er said to the guests, "You are kind enough to offer condolences to the deceased minister Chong'er. I lost my father myself, but I cannot cry with you and grieve for you. What is the point of the father's death? If someone dares to have other intentions, it will insult your righteousness." He bowed his head without kneeling, and stood up after crying, but did not hesitate. Zi Xian told Duke Mu of Qin about his death. Duke Mu said, "The benevolent Prince Chong'er! If you bow your head but don't kowtow, you are not yet the heir, so you can't kowtow; if you cry and then get up, you love your father; if you get up without selfishness, you are looking for benefits."
Tao Gong had great ambitions since he was young. His family was extremely poor, so he lived with his mother, Zhan. Fan Kui, a fellow countyman who was well-known, was selected as a filial and honest official and stayed at Kan's place. At that time, ice and snow accumulated day by day, and Kan's room was as dark as a hanging chime, while Kui had many horses and servants. Kan's mother, Mrs. Zhan, said to Kan, "You just go out and entertain the guests, and I will take care of the affairs myself." Zhan's hair fell to the ground, and the lower part was broken into two buns. She sold several bushels of rice, chopped down the pillars of the house, cut half of them into firewood, and ground the remaining hair into horse grass. Every day and evening, he provided fine food, so that his followers had nothing to lack. Kui was amazed at his eloquence and felt deeply ashamed of his kindness. The next morning he left, and Kan followed him closely, and they walked for about a hundred miles. Kui said, "The road is long, you should go back." Kan still did not return, so Kui said, "You can go now! We will talk about your good deeds in Luoyang." Kan then returned. Kui and Luo then praised them to Yang Zhi, Gu Rong and others, and they won great praise.
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