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Tao Gong had great ambitions since he was young. His family was extremely poor, so he lived with his mother, Zhan. Fan Kui, a fellow countyman who was well-known, was selected as a filial and honest official and stayed at Kan's place. At that time, ice and snow accumulated day by day, and Kan's room was as dark as a hanging chime, while Kui had many horses and servants. Kan's mother, Mrs. Zhan, said to Kan, "You just go out and entertain the guests, and I will take care of the affairs myself." Zhan's hair fell to the ground, and the lower part was broken into two buns. She sold several bushels of rice, chopped down the pillars of the house, cut half of them into firewood, and ground the remaining hair into horse grass. Every day and evening, he provided fine food, so that his followers had nothing to lack. Kui was amazed at his eloquence and felt deeply ashamed of his kindness. The next morning he left, and Kan followed him closely, and they walked for about a hundred miles. Kui said, "The road is long, you should go back." Kan still did not return, so Kui said, "You can go now! We will talk about your good deeds in Luoyang." Kan then returned. Kui and Luo then praised them to Yang Zhi, Gu Rong and others, and they won great praise.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Wang Changshi asked for Dongyang, but the military governor refused. Later, he became seriously ill and on his deathbed, Fujun lamented, "I will fail Zhongzu in this, and I will use him." The chief secretary said, "People say that the King of Kuaiji is stupid, he is really stupid."
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