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The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by respecting oneself?” Confucius replied, “When a gentleman speaks too much, the people will make excuses; when he acts too much, the people will make examples. If a gentleman does not speak too much and does not act too much, the people will respect him without being ordered. In this way, he can respect himself; if he can respect himself, he can complete his parents. ”The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by completing his parents?” Confucius replied, “A gentleman is a name for people. The people call him a son of a gentleman. This is to make their parents become gentlemen, and this is to complete their parents’ name!” Confucius then said, “In ancient times, the most important thing in governing was to love people. If you cannot love people, you cannot have your body; if you cannot have your body, you cannot be at peace with your land; if you cannot be at peace with your land, you cannot be happy with heaven; if you cannot be happy with heaven, you cannot complete your body.”
Zengzi said: "When mourning, there is illness, eating meat and drinking wine, there must be the nourishment of plants and trees. It is called ginger and cinnamon."
The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
When Wen Taizhen was not yet in a high position, she often played Chupu with appraisers from Yangzhou and Huaizhong, and she never competed with them. Once he made a mistake, he lost a lot of things and was humiliated, with no way to return. He was on good terms with Yu Liang, and shouted to Liang in the boat, "Can you redeem me?" Yu immediately sent him money, and he was able to return. After these four.
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
The one who makes an adult will be required to perform the etiquette of adulthood. The one who requires the etiquette of adulthood will be required to perform the etiquette of being a son, a younger brother, a minister, and a younger person. If the four behaviors are performed on people, can the etiquette not be important?
When Wang Zhonglang was young, Jiang Fei was in charge of selecting Pushe and wanted to appoint him as Shangshulang. There is a king of words. The king said, "Since I came across the river, the Shangshu Lang has been recruiting the second person, why should he choose me?" Jiang stopped when he heard this. He said: "The Xuan Cao selected you to be the Shangshu Lang. Fortunately, you can serve as an assistant to the kings, right? ’” This shows that the Langguan is of a poor and simple rank.
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