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The poor do not consider money as a gift, and the old do not consider their strength as a gift.
Zhou Pushe was a man of graceful appearance and good manners. When he went to see the prince, he hid himself among a few people at first, and the prince looked at him with a smile. After sitting down, he whistled and chanted proudly. The prince asked, "Do you want to be like Ji and Ruan?" He replied, "How dare I stay close to you and be far away from Ji and Ruan!"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Nanyang Zong Shilin was a contemporary of Wei Wu, but Wei Wu despised him as a person and did not associate with him. When Wei Wu became Sikong and was in charge of government affairs, he calmly asked Zong, "Can I befriend you?" Zong replied, "The ambition of pine and cypress still remains." Shi Lin was dismissed for disobeying the emperor's order, and his position was not worthy of his virtue. Whenever Emperor Wen's brothers visited his door, they would bow alone under the bed. This was their etiquette for greeting.
Emperor Ming asked Marquis Zhou, "Some people compare you to Xi Jian. What do you think?" Zhou said, "Your Majesty, there is no need to compare you to Xi Jian."
Zhang Xuan and Wang Jianwu did not know each other at first, but later they met at Fan Yuzhang's request, and Fan asked them to talk. Zhang Yin was sitting upright with his clothes folded in front of him. Wang Shu looked at him for a long time but could not make any comment. Zhang was greatly disappointed and left. Fan tried to persuade him to stay, but he refused to stay. Fan was Wang's uncle, so he said to Wang: "Zhang Xuan is the most outstanding scholar in Wu. He was also well-known at the time. But he was brought to this point. It is beyond comprehension." Wang laughed and said: "If Zhang Zuxi wants to make his acquaintance, he should come to see him." Fan rushed to inform Zhang, who then packed his belt and went to see him. Then they raised their cups and talked to each other, neither the host nor the guest looked ashamed.
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