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When marrying a wife, one should not marry someone with the same surname as her. Therefore, if one buys a concubine but does not know her surname, one should consult the divination. If a widow's son has no opinion on him, he should not be friends with him.
Han Kang's aunt Yin followed Sun Huizhi to Hengyang and met Huan Nanjun in Heluzhou. Bian Ju was his grandson and came to inquire about his life from time to time. He said to Ju: "If I don't die, I will see this guy become a thief for the second time!" After several years in Hengyang, Huizhi encountered the disaster of Huan Jingzhen. Yin stroked his corpse and cried, "Your father was dismissed from Yuzhang, and the conscription letter was sent out in the morning and evening. You left the county for several years, and you were unable to move because of things, and then you were caught in the disaster. What else can I say?"
Duke Huan entered the gorge, where sheer cliffs hung high into the sky and the waves rose swiftly. He sighed and said, "Since I am a loyal minister, I cannot be a filial son. What should I do?"
Wang Sengmi, Xie Cheqi and Wang Xiaonu Xu gathered together. Sengmi raised his wine to Xie and said, "I'll give you a cup." Xie said, "Yes." Sengmi got angry and said, "You are the one who fishes for stones in the Wuxing River! How dare you insult me!" Xie clapped his hands and laughed, saying, "Wei army, Sengmi is so undisciplined that you are invading our country."
Zisi's mother died in Wei, and he went to Zisi, and Zisi cried in the temple. When the disciples came, they said, "Shu's mother died, why did you cry in Confucius' temple?" Zisi said, "I was wrong, I was wrong." Then he cried in another room.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. 鈥 He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Yin Zhongkan said: "If I don't read the Tao Te Ching for three days, I will feel that my tongue is stiff and idle."
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