Gongyangchifenruo 12涓囧瓧 824554浜鸿杩 杩炶浇
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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
Confucius said, "If you are respectful, you can use the sacrificial vessels. Therefore, a gentleman does not abandon etiquette for cheapness, nor does he abandon etiquette for beauty." Therefore, the etiquette of eating is: if the host personally presents the food, the guest will offer the food; if the host does not personally present the food, the guest will not offer the food. Therefore, if a gentleman is not polite, he will not eat even if the food is beautiful. The Book of Changes says, "The eastern neighbor slaughters a cow, but it is not as good as the western neighbor's sacrifice, which actually benefits him." The Book of Songs says, "After being drunk with wine, after being full with virtue." This shows the people, the people still compete for profit and forget righteousness. Confucius said, "Seven days of abstention, three days of preparation, carry one person to make a corpse, and those who pass by will run away, to teach respect." Li wine is in the room, Di wine is in the hall, and Cheng wine is below, to show the people not to be licentious. The corpse drinks three times, and the guests drink once, to show the people that there is a hierarchy. Because of the wine and meat, the clans gather together to teach the people to be harmonious. Therefore, the upper hall observes the room, and the lower hall observes the upper. The Book of Songs says: "The etiquette is complete, and the laughter is complete."
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