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Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
Chengren had a brother who died but did not wear mourning clothes. When he heard that Zigao would be the chief minister of Chengren, he wore mourning clothes. Chengren said, "Silkworms weave and crabs have ribs, fan weaves and cicadas have ribbons. When his brother died, Zigao wore mourning clothes."
Xi Chao and Xie Xuan were not on good terms. When Fu Jian was about to challenge the Jin throne, he had already devoured Liang and Qi like a wolves, and was now eyeing Huaiyin like a tiger. At that time, the court discussed sending Xuan to the north to fight, and there were many different opinions among people. Wei Chao said: "This will surely help. I once worked with him in Huan Xuanwu's office and saw that all talents were used to the fullest, and even those who were just clogs were given the job. Judging from this, Rong will surely be able to achieve great success." After Yuan Gong was accomplished, people at that time all admired Chao's foresight and respected his ability to not hide his kindness due to love and hate.
He Huqi's younger brother wanted to avoid the world because of his noble sentiments, but Huqi persuaded him to take up an official post. He replied, "I am ranked fifth, why should I reduce the number of cavalry?"
The betrothal gift is seven intermediaries for the upper duke, five intermediaries for the marquis and earl, and three intermediaries for the viscount and the man, so as to distinguish the noble from the humble. When introducing and conveying orders, a gentleman dares not question the one he respects, which is the utmost respect. After three concessions, he can convey the order, enter the temple gate after three concessions, reach the steps after three bows, and ascend after three concessions, so as to show respect and humility.
If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
Wang Changyu was a cautious and obedient person, and he was filial to his parents with all his heart. The prime minister was always happy when he saw Changyu, and always angry when he saw Jingyu. When Chang Yu talked with the Prime Minister, he always emphasized caution. Whenever the Prime Minister returned to the court, he would always be escorted to the back of the carriage. Heng and Madam Cao were both placed in the same box. After Changyu's death, the prime minister returned to the palace. After getting on the carriage, he cried all the way to the gate of the palace. Madam Cao made a basket and sealed it, but she could not bear to open it.
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