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When Taifu Xie was sailing eastward, a villain was guiding the boat, sometimes slowing down, sometimes speeding up, sometimes stopping, sometimes waiting, and also letting the boat go sideways, causing it to hit people and crash into the shore. The Duke did not reprimand him at first. People say that you are never angry or happy. I once accompanied my brother on his return from a funeral in the west. It was a rainy day and we were all drunk, so I couldn't do anything about it. The Duke then took the carriage pillar and hit the driver with a very loud and fierce sound. Water is calm and gentle in nature, but it rushes violently when it enters a narrow passage. The local people are well aware that in a remote and isolated place, it is impossible to preserve their purity.
After Deng Jingling was dismissed from office, he went to the mountain tomb and met the Grand Marshal Huan Gong. The Duke asked him, "Why have you become thinner?" Deng said, "I feel ashamed of Shuda, and I cannot help but feel resentful for the broken steamer!"
After Su Zigao's incident was settled, Lords Wang and Yu wanted to appoint Kong Tingwei as the governor of Danyang. After the chaos, the people were in poverty. Kong said with a sigh, "When Emperor Suzong was dying, you all personally ascended the imperial bed and were recognized by him, and followed his will. I am a distant and lowly person, and I am not among those who were there to take charge of the affairs of the state. When times were tough, you put me first. Now I am just rotten meat on the table, waiting to be chopped up by anyone!" Then he left, and the other gentlemen also stopped.
Duke Ai asked Ru Bei to learn the funeral rites of scholars from Confucius, and the funeral rites of scholars were written there. Zigong watched the wax. Confucius asked, "Are you happy?" He replied, "All the people in the country are crazy, and I don't know how to be happy!" Confucius said, "A hundred days of wax and a day of radiance are not what you know. If you stretch without relaxing, civil and military officials cannot do it; if you relax without stretching, civil and military officials cannot do it. Tension and relaxation are the way of civil and military officials."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Chen Yuanfang was eleven years old, he waited for Yuan Gong. Yuan Gong asked, "Your lord is a virtuous man in Taiqiu, and people far and near praise him. What do you do?" Yuan Fang said, "My old father is in Taiqiu. He comforts the strong with virtue and the weak with kindness. He lets them do whatever they want, and they become more respected over time." Yuan Gong said, "I used to be the magistrate of Ye, and I did just that. I wonder if your lord follows my example or if I follow your father?" Yuan Fang said, "Duke Zhou and Confucius were born in different eras, but they were the same everywhere. Duke Zhou did not learn from Confucius, and Confucius did not learn from Duke Zhou."
As a son: While parents are still alive, your clothes do not have to be purely plain. There is an orphan in the room, and his hat and clothes are not of pure color.
When Yu Zisong finished writing a fu, his follower Wenkang saw it and asked, "If there is intention, then it is not the end of fu; if there is no intention, then what is there to write about?" He replied, "It is somewhere between intention and no intention."
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