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Zi Yun: "A gentleman forgives his parents' faults and respects their virtues." The Analects says: "If one does not change his father's way for three years, he can be called filial." Gaozong said: "For three years, he did not speak, and he would complain if he spoke." Zi Yun: "If one obeys orders without anger, gives subtle advice without getting tired, and works hard without complaining, he can be called filial." The Book of Poetry
The number of counts depends on where they sit. The number of chips is five in the room, seven in the hall, and nine in the courtyard. The length of the chip is two inches. The pot: the neck is seven inches long, the belly is five inches long, and the diameter is two and a half inches; it can hold five liters. The pot is filled with small beans, so that the arrows can jump out. The pot is two and a half arrows away from the mat. The arrows are made of thorns, and the skin is not removed. Lu ordered his disciples to say goodbye: "Don't be arrogant, don't stand upside down, don't speak too much; standing upside down and speaking too much is a regular rank." Xue ordered his disciples to say goodbye: "Don't be arrogant, don't stand upside down, don't speak too much; those who do this will float."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
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