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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.

Zi Yun: "A gentleman forgives his parents' faults and respects their virtues." The Analects says: "If one does not change his father's way for three years, he can be called filial." Gaozong said: "For three years, he did not speak, and he would complain if he spoke." Zi Yun: "If one obeys orders without anger, gives subtle advice without getting tired, and works hard without complaining, he can be called filial." The Book of Poetry

When there is a father's funeral, if the mother dies before the funeral, the father's mourning is over, and the mourning clothes are worn. After the funeral, the mourning clothes are returned. Even if it is the funeral of the father and the brothers, it is like the funeral of the parents, and the mourning of the father and the brothers is over, they all wear the mourning clothes. After the funeral, the mourning clothes are returned. If the three-year mourning , then after the ceremony, the auspicious signs are the same. When the king's father dies, before the ceremony, the grandson dies, which is still attached to the king's father. When there is a funeral, if you hear of the funeral outside, you should cry in another room. Enter the funeral, finish the funeral, go out, change your clothes and ascend the throne, just like the ceremony of ascending the throne. When the ministers and scholars are going to offer sacrifices to the duke, after they have seen and washed their bodies, if their parents die, they should still offer sacrifices, and then go to another palace. After the sacrifice, they should take off their clothes and go out of the duke's gate, cry and go home. Others are the same as the ceremony of rushing to the funeral. If they have not seen and washed their bodies, they should send someone to inform them. The informant will return, and then they can cry. For the funerals of fathers, brothers, aunts, and sisters, after staying overnight, they can offer sacrifices. After the funeral, they should go out of the duke's gate, take off their clothes and go home. Others are the same as the ceremony of rushing to the funeral. If they are in the same palace, they should go to another palace. Zengzi asked, "The ministers are going to offer the corpse to the duke, and they have received the night, but there is a mourning in the duke's palace, what should they do?" Confucius said, "It is the etiquette to go out of the duke's palace to wait for the event. Confucius said, "When the corpse is dressed in a hat and crown and brought out, the nobles, officials, and scholars should all lower themselves. The corpse must be arranged in a proper manner, and there must be a leader in front."




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