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As a son, you must tell your parents when you go out and see them when you come back. Where you go must be regular and what you learn must be disciplined. Never say old. If one is twice as old as his father, he should be served by his father; if one is ten years older than his elder brother, he should be served by his elder brother; if one is five years older than his elder brother, he should be served by his shoulder. When five people live in a group, the elder one must sit at a separate seat.
Wang Rong lost his son Wanzi. Shan Jian went to visit him, and the king was overwhelmed with grief. Jian said, "How could the thing in the child's arms be like this?" The king said, "The sages are oblivious to emotions, and the lowest among the poor are not even capable of emotions. Emotions are focused on people of our generation." Jian was convinced by his words and felt even more sad.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Before the Duke of Haixi was deposed, Wang Yuanlin asked Huan Yuanzi, "Ji Zi and Bi Gan have different deeds but the same heart. I wonder who is right and who is wrong, you sir?" He replied, "The reputation of benevolence is the same. I would rather be like Guan Zhong."
The pickled beans are the harmonious air of aquatic plants; the meat is produced on land. The beans are produced on land; the meat is aquatic. The offerings of the bamboo baskets and beans are the products of the water and soil. We dare not use the usual vulgar food and value the rich food. This is the meaning of communicating with the gods, not the way of eating. The offerings of the former kings can be eaten but not used. The crown and carriage can be displayed but not liked. The military is strong, but not enjoyable. The majesty of the ancestral temple, but it cannot be ignored. The vessels of the ancestral temple can be used but not used for their own benefit. The reason for communicating with the gods and spirits should not be the same as the meaning of comfort. The beauty of wine and liquor, the preference for dark wine and bright water, is the origin of valuing the five flavors. The beauty of embroidery and the preference for sparse cloth are the beginning of women's work. The comfort of the bamboo mat and the preference for the quilt are the light. The big soup is not harmonious, it is the value of its quality. The big jade is not polished, it is the beauty of its quality. The beauty of the red lacquer carved table and the plain carriage are the respect for its simplicity and the value of its quality. The reason for communicating with the gods and spirits should not be the same as the meaning of comfort. Only in this way can it be appropriate. The odd shapes of the tripod and the even shapes of the dishes and the yin and yang are the meaning of yin and yang. The yellow eyes are the supreme respect of the depressed qi. Yellow means the middle; eyes are the clear and bright qi. It means to pour in the middle and be clear and bright outside. To offer sacrifice to the heaven, sweep the ground and offer sacrifice there, it is the quality. The beauty of pickled meat and salt, and the popularity of salt, are because they are produced by nature. The use of a knife and the value of a phoenix knife are because of their righteousness. The sound is harmonious before it can be cut.
Yanling Jizi went to Qi, and on his way back, his eldest son died and was buried between Yingbo. Confucius said, "Yanling Jizi is a person in Wu who is accustomed to etiquette." He went to see his burial. The pit was not deep enough to reach the spring, and he was buried in the seasonal clothes. After the burial, the seal was sealed, and the pit was covered with wide wheels, so that it was high enough to hide. After the enthronement, he exposed his left arm and returned his right arm to the enthronement and cried three times, saying: "Bone flesh and blood return to the earth, it is destiny. As for the soul and spirit, everything will return, everything will return." Then he left. Confucius said: "Yanling Jizi's understanding of etiquette is in accordance with it!"
The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
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