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A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
When Yin Hongqiao was appointed as the governor of Yuzhang County, before his departure, he left with about a hundred letters. When they reached the stones, they threw them all into the water, and said, "Those who sink will sink, and those who float will float. Yin Hongqiao cannot write a letter."
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Confucians cleanse themselves and bathe in virtue, they keep their words to themselves, they are calm and correct, and their superiors do not know; they are rough and arrogant, and they do not rush to do things; they do not think they are high when they are deep, and they do not think they are much when they add a little; they do not despise the world in peace, and they do not get discouraged when the world is in chaos; they do not agree with the same, and they do not criticize the different. They are like this in their uniqueness.
When Zhou Chu was young, he was fierce and chivalrous, and was feared by his fellow villagers. There was also a dragon in the water of Yixing and a tiger in the mountains. They both violently attacked the common people. The people of Yixing called them the Three Horizons and treated them particularly badly. Some say that he killed the tiger and slashed the dragon, but in fact he hoped that only one of the three would remain. He would stab a tiger to death wherever he went, and then go into the water to kill a dragon. The dragon would sometimes float up and sometimes sink, and he would travel for dozens of miles, staying with it wherever it went. After three days and three nights, everyone in the village believed that the dragon was dead, and they celebrated together. They finally killed the dragon and got out. When I heard the villagers celebrating, I realized that I was suffering from the ills of human nature and I decided to change myself. He went from Wu to look for the two Lu brothers, but Pingyuan was not there. He met Qinghe and told him the whole situation, saying, "I want to change myself, but I have wasted years and will never achieve anything." Qinghe said, "The ancients valued hearing their achievements in the morning rather than dying in the evening. Besides, you still have a good future. Besides, people worry about not having their ambitions established, so why worry about not having a good reputation?" Chu then changed himself and eventually became a loyal minister and a filial son.
When Huan Xuanwu conquered Shu, he took Li Shi's sister as his concubine and doted on her very much, often having her sit behind the king's throne. The master was unaware of this at first, but when she heard about it, she and dozens of her maids drew their swords and attacked him. Li was combing her hair. Her hair was hanging on the ground, her complexion was as white as jade, but she remained unmoved. Xu said: "My country is destroyed and my family is ruined, I have no intention of coming to this point. If I can be killed today, it is my real wish." The lord retreated in shame.
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