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You won鈥檛 feel full if you eat together, and you won鈥檛 get your hands wet if you eat together. Do not knead the rice, do not let the rice fall, do not drink it out of the water, do not chew the food, do not gnaw the bones, do not eat fish or meat, and do not throw bones to dogs. Do not hold on to what you have gained, and do not show off your food. Do not use chopsticks to eat rice and millet. Do not spit on the soup, do not make the soup gurgling, do not prick your teeth, and do not swallow fishy food. The guest was eating soup, but the host could not accept it. The guest drank the meat, and the host declined. Moist meat is chewy, but dry meat is not chewy. Do not suck or roast.

When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.

When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.




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