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Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Huan Xuanwu once invited his assistants to stay overnight. Yuan Hong and Fu Tao arrived one after another and stayed in the government office. There was also assistant general Yuan. Yanbo was suspicious and ordered him to preach and question him. The missionary said: "The military commander is Yuan Shikai, Yuan Shikai, what else is there to doubt?"
Duke Xi amassed a fortune of tens of millions. The guests had different opinions and often asked about it in the morning. Xi family rule: Children and grandchildren are not allowed to sit. As the conversation progressed, the subject turned to money and property. Xi Gong said, "You just want to get my money!" So he opened the treasury for one day and allowed the money to be used as desired. Xi Gongshi Zheng said that the loss was about several million. The distinguished guest then begged his relatives and friends for help that day and the matter was basically resolved. When Duke Xi heard this, he was so shocked and surprised that he could not stop.
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
What is a "mao"? It is to cover the body. From the funeral to the small funeral, if you don't set up a "mao", you will be exposed. So you set up a "mao" after the funeral. Someone asked Zengzi, "Is it like wrapping up the rest after sending it away, or wrapping up the rest after eating? Do gentlemen wrap up the rest after eating?" Zengzi said, "My son, have you not seen the great feast? In a grand feast, after the feast, the three animals are rolled up and returned to the guesthouse. Parents are treated as guests, so they mourn! Have you not seen a grand feast? "If it is not a funeral, why ask and give?
Zhongni's ancestors followed Yao and Shun, and established the constitution of Wen and Wu: above the law of heaven, below the water and soil. It is like the heaven and earth that hold everything and cover everything, like the four seasons running in an alternating manner, like the sun and the moon shining in succession. All things grow together without harming each other, and the ways run parallel without contradicting each other. Small virtues flow, and great virtues cultivate. This is why heaven and earth are great.
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