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A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
Nanyang Zong Shilin was a contemporary of Wei Wu, but Wei Wu despised him as a person and did not associate with him. When Wei Wu became Sikong and was in charge of government affairs, he calmly asked Zong, "Can I befriend you?" Zong replied, "The ambition of pine and cypress still remains." Shi Lin was dismissed for disobeying the emperor's order, and his position was not worthy of his virtue. Whenever Emperor Wen's brothers visited his door, they would bow alone under the bed. This was their etiquette for greeting.
Zengzi asked, "When the burial leads to the grave, if the sun is eclipsed, will there be changes? Or not?" Confucius said, "In the past, I followed Lao Dan to help with the burial in Xiangdang. When we reached the grave, the sun was eclipsed. Lao Dan said, 'Qiu! Stop the coffin, stand on the right side of the road, stop crying and wait for changes.' After daybreak, he turned back and went on. He said, 'It is the etiquette.' When the burial was reversed, Qiu asked, 'The coffin cannot be reversed. If the sun is eclipsed, how can we go if we don't know how late it will be?' Lao Dan said, 'The princes go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun; the officials go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun. The coffin does not leave early and does not stay late. Only criminals and those who go to the funeral of their parents go on the journey when they see the stars! The sun is eclipsed, how do you know that the stars are not visible? Moreover, a gentleman practices etiquette and does not take people's relatives as his concern. 'I heard Lao Dan say this.
If the guest is not here to eat or drink, then a table will be laid out with a space of one meter between them. The host kneels at the table, and the guest kneels and touches the table to leave. The guest left the seat, but the host refused. The guest stepped onto the mat and sat down. If the host doesn't ask, the guest shouldn't raise his question first. I will improvise, so don't be embarrassed. Use both hands to pull the clothes up to the ruler. Do not tear your clothes and do not step on your feet.
When Duke Zhuang of Lu was buried, the coffin was not brought into the storehouse. After the scholars and officials finished crying, the hemp was not brought in.
Gu Yue and Jian Wen are of the same age, but Gu Yue's hair turned white earlier. Jianwen asked, "Why did you become white first?" He replied, "The cattails and willows fall in autumn, while the pines and cypresses grow stronger after frost."
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