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The Master said: "The world and the country can be equal, the title and salary can be refused, and the sword can be stepped on, but the middle way is impossible."
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
For the square of 1,000 li, there are 100 squares of 100 li. Thirty countries of 100 li were granted, and the rest were 70 squares of 100 li. Sixty squares of 70 li were granted--29 squares of 100 li, and 40 squares of 10 li. The rest are 40 for a square of 100 li, 60 for a square of 10 li; 20 for a square of 50 li are enfeoffed, which are 30 for a square of 100 li; the rest are 10 for a square of 100 li, 60 for a square of 10 li. Famous mountains and large lakes are not enfeoffed, the rest are used as vassal inter-fields. The meritorious princes are given inter-fields as salaries; those who have their lands cut are given inter-fields as salaries.
There was a man named Zhou Feng in Lu. Duke Ai held a seal and asked to see him, but he said no. The Duke said, "I'll stop!" He sent someone to ask him, "The Yu clan did not show trust to the people, but the people trusted them; the Xia clan did not show respect to the people, but the people respected them. How did they get this from the people?" He replied, "In the ruins and tombs, they did not show grief to the people, but the people mourned; in the altars and ancestral temples, they did not show respect to the people, but the people respected them. The Yin people made an oath, but the people began to rebel; the Zhou people made a meeting, but the people began to doubt. If there is no courtesy, righteousness, loyalty, sincerity and honesty to govern them, even if they are firmly united, will the people not break away?"
Gu Shao once had a conversation with Pang Shiyuan, who asked, "I heard that you are famous for knowing people. Who is better, me or you?" He replied, "In terms of being influenced by the world and rising and falling with the times, I am not as good as you; but in discussing the remaining strategies of kingship and hegemony and viewing the key points of reliance, I seem to be one day better than you." Shao also felt at ease with his words.
When Kong Rong was arrested, people at home and abroad were in panic. At that time, the oldest of Rong'er was nine years old and the youngest was eight years old. The two boys were playing with the nails on purpose, without any sign of panic. Rong said to the messenger, "I hope the crime is limited to myself. Can the two sons be saved?" The son came forward slowly and said, "My lord, have you ever seen eggs intact under an overturned nest?" Soon they were also captured.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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