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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."

The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. 鈥

When serving, you must leave the seat; if you don鈥檛 leave, you must leave the party of the king. If you don鈥檛 go to the front to get on the seat, it is called jumping the seat. If you sit alone and don鈥檛 use the full length of the mat, read and eat, then level, and the bowl is one foot away from the mat. If you give food to someone and the king is the guest, then order him to offer sacrifices, and then offer sacrifices; first eat, argue and taste the food, drink and wait. If there is anyone who wants to taste food, he should wait until the king has finished eating, then eat, eat, drink and wait. If the king orders food, and food is close to him, he should order him to taste it, and then he will eat what he wants. Whenever you eat food far away, you must follow the food near you. You dare not eat before the king covers his hands; after the king has eaten, he eats and eats, and eating and eating is three meals. After the king has finished, he takes the rice and sauce, and then leaves and gives it to the followers. Whenever you serve food, you don鈥檛 eat everything; you don鈥檛 get full from eating from others. Only water and porridge are not offered as a sacrifice, and if you offer it as a sacrifice, it is humiliating for your peers. If the king gives you a cup, you should cross the table and bow twice to receive it, and then go up to the table to offer it. Drink the cup and wait for the king to finish the cup, and then give the empty cup. When a gentleman drinks, he will be ashamed when he receives one cup, and he will talk about it after two cups. After three cups, he will leave with a smile. When he leaves, he will sit down and take his shoes, and then take his shoes away. When sitting on the left, he will take the right, and when sitting on the right, he will take the left. All vessels must be served with dark wine, only the emperor's vessel is served, only the common people are served with wine, the side vessels of the officials are served with a wooden pole, and the side vessels of the scholars are served with a ban.




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