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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Sun Changle wrote Wang Chang's history and said, "I and my husband are not snobbish in their dealings, their hearts are like clear water, and they have the same mysterious taste."
Aigong said, "May I ask about Confucian conduct." Confucius replied, "I can't finish counting them all. If I count them all, I will stay. I can't finish them even if I change my servant."
Yin Zhongjun, Sun Anguo, Wang, Xie Nengyan and other wise men were all in Kuaiji Wang Xu. Yin and Sun discussed together that the images of Yi are wonderful in showing the real shapes. Sun Yu’s words were in harmony with the truth and he was full of high spirits. Everyone present was uneasy about Sun Li, but they could not give in. The King of Kuaiji sighed and said, "If Zhenchang is here, we should be able to control him." After welcoming Zhenchang, Sun felt that he was inferior to him. When Zhenchang arrived, he first asked Sun to explain the original principle himself. Sun Cuo spoke his own words, and he also felt that they were not as good as before. Liu then made a speech of about 200 words, but his words were difficult to be concise and clear, and Sun Li finally gave in. Everyone sitting there clapped their hands and laughed, praising it for a long time.
When a dog Zhongni kept died, he asked Zigong to bury it, saying, "I have heard that if you do not discard an old curtain, you will bury the horse; if you do not discard an old cover, you will bury the dog. I am poor and have no cover; I also gave him a mat at his fiefdom so that his head would not be sunk."
The way of the university is to manifest the bright virtue, to be close to the people, and to stop at the highest good. Knowing the stop will lead to determination, determination will lead to tranquility, tranquility will lead to peace, peace will lead to consideration, and consideration will lead to success. Things have their roots and ends, and things have their beginnings and ends. Knowing what comes first and what comes later will lead to the way.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
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