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When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
Sun Xinggong served as a military officer of Yu Gong, and together they traveled to Baishishan. The Lord of Wei was present at the meeting. Sun said, "This boy has nothing to do with mountains and rivers, yet he can write essays." Lord Yu said, "Although the elegance of Wei is not as good as yours, his charm is not close either." Sun then followed his words.
Wang Gong wanted to invite Jiang Lunu to be the chief secretary, so he went to Jiang in the morning, but Jiang was still in the tent. The king sat down, not daring to speak immediately. It took a long time before he got there, but Jiang didn't respond. He called for someone to bring him some wine, drank a bowl himself, and did not share any with the king. Wang laughed and said, "Why do I have to drink alone?" Jiang said, "Do you want to drink too?" He asked him to pour more wine for Wang. After Wang finished drinking, he was able to leave. Before leaving the house, Jiang sighed and said, "It is difficult for people to judge for themselves."
Wang's right army was very stiff when he was young. After the general's permission, Wang and Yu, the two kings later, the right army wanted to go and said, "Your family, Sikong, Yuangui, can you recover?"
Zeng Zi asked: "Can the funeral of a major merit be included in the offering of sacrifices?" Confucius said: "It is not a major merit! "Zengzi asked, "Is it not possible to make sacrifices with light clothes?" Confucius said, "That is not what I mean. In the funerals of the Son of Heaven and the dukes, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the high officials, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the scholars, their friends offer sacrifices; if it is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less; if it is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less." Zengzi asked, "Can small merits be included in the sacrifices?" Confucius said, "Why must it be small merits? Those who are in mourning clothes and below offer sacrifices; that is etiquette." Zengzi asked, "Is it not possible to make sacrifices with light clothes?" Confucius said, "In the funerals of the Son of Heaven and the dukes, those who are not in mourning clothes do not offer sacrifices; the high officials, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the scholars, if the sacrifice is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less." Zengzi asked, "Can acquaintances, if they are in mourning clothes, participate in the sacrifices?" Confucius said, "If you don't offer sacrifices, how can you help others?" Zengzi asked, "Can you take away your mourning clothes and participate in the sacrifices?" ”Confucius said: "Saying mourning and offering sacrifices are not rites; it is OK to reject each other."
Wang Sizhou sat with Xie Gong and chanted "I enter without speaking and leave without saying goodbye, I ride on the returning wind and carry the cloud flag." He said to someone, "At that time, I realized that there was no one sitting there."
When serving a gentleman, the gentleman yawned and stretched himself, picked up his walking stick and shoes, and saw that the sun was setting. The attendant then asked to leave. When sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if the gentleman asks about the affairs of the day, the gentleman should stand up and answer. When one is sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if someone comes and says, "A moment," hoping to hear back, one should stand aside and wait. Do not listen sideways, do not respond loudly, do not look lustfully, and do not be lazy. When walking, do not be arrogant; when standing, do not limp; when sitting, do not spread your legs; when sleeping, do not lie prone. Keep your hair down and don't take off your hat. Don't expose your clothes when you are tired. Don't lift your skirt in the heat.
In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
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