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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Yu Changren and his brothers entered Wu and wanted to stay overnight in a pavilion. The younger brothers went up first and saw the room full of children, none of whom had any intention of avoiding each other. Changren said, "Let me try and watch it." He then took a little boy with a stick and entered the door. The guests, seeing his divine appearance, retreated and hid themselves for a while.
When Wang Dun first married the princess, he went to the toilet and saw a lacquer box filled with dried dates. He originally wanted to use them to plug his nose, but the princess thought that there were also fruits on the toilet, so he ate all of them. After returning, the maid held up a golden bath tray filled with water and a glass bowl filled with bath beans. She then poured chopsticks into the water and drank from it, calling it dry rice. All the maids covered their mouths and laughed.
From the emperor to the common people, all of them take self-cultivation as the foundation. If the foundation is chaotic and the end is in order, it is not good. What they value is despised, and what they despise is valued. This is called knowing the root, and this is called the ultimate knowledge.
In the teaching of the university, there must be regular work during the teaching, and there must be study after resting. If you don't learn to play the string, you can't play the string properly; if you don't learn to read the Book of Songs, you can't play the Book of Songs properly; if you don't learn to wear various clothes, you can't play the rites properly; if you don't learn to play the art, you can't enjoy learning. Therefore, the gentleman hides, cultivates, rests, and wanders in learning. Therefore, he is at ease with his learning and loves his teacher, enjoys his friends and believes in his way. Therefore, even if he leaves his teacher, he will not turn back. The Book of Changes says: "Respect your grandchildren and be diligent in time, and then your cultivation will come." Is this what it means!
The Master said: "The great man does not get close to those who are virtuous, but trusts those who are humble; the people are lost because of this, and the teaching is troubled because of this. The Book of Songs says: "If they seek me, it is as if they cannot get me; if they hold my enemies, they will not be able to help me. ’Jun Chen said: ‘If you have not seen a sage, you are not able to see him; if you have seen a sage, you cannot follow him. ’”
Wang Guanglu said: "Wine is what makes people stay away from each other."
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