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When Bo Yu's mother died, he cried even after a certain period of time. The Master heard about it and said: "Who is crying with you?" The disciple said: "It's the carp." The Master said: "Hey! It's too much." Bo Yu heard about it and then got rid of it.
Zengzi asked, "When the burial leads to the grave, if the sun is eclipsed, will there be changes? Or not?" Confucius said, "In the past, I followed Lao Dan to help with the burial in Xiangdang. When we reached the grave, the sun was eclipsed. Lao Dan said, 'Qiu! Stop the coffin, stand on the right side of the road, stop crying and wait for changes.' After daybreak, he turned back and went on. He said, 'It is the etiquette.' When the burial was reversed, Qiu asked, 'The coffin cannot be reversed. If the sun is eclipsed, how can we go if we don't know how late it will be?' Lao Dan said, 'The princes go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun; the officials go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun. The coffin does not leave early and does not stay late. Only criminals and those who go to the funeral of their parents go on the journey when they see the stars! The sun is eclipsed, how do you know that the stars are not visible? Moreover, a gentleman practices etiquette and does not take people's relatives as his concern. 'I heard Lao Dan say this.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
The clothes are on the body, but it is not known that they are called "wang". If there is no candle and someone comes later, tell the one who is there. The same is true for the blind. Whenever someone drinks wine and offers it to the host, hold the candle and hold it until it is burnt. The guest gets up and says goodbye, and then give it to others. Hold the candle and do not give way, do not say goodbye, and do not sing. Those who wash and wash their hands and eat and drink should not be angry. If asked, they should answer with their sleeves. Offering sacrifices to others is called "zhifu"; offering sacrifices to oneself and offering food to a gentleman is called "shan"; offering sacrifices to the gentleman is called "gao". Whenever a meal is reported to a gentleman, the host will unfold it and give it to the messenger to the south of the steps on the east side, and face south and bow twice to send it off; when the order is returned, the host will bow again and bow. The ritual: for a large sacrifice, use nine pieces of the left shoulder, arm, and leg of an ox; for a small sacrifice, use seven pieces of the left shoulder of a sheep; for a special pig, use five pieces of the left shoulder of a pig. If the country is not poor, then the chariots will not be carved, the armor will not be woven, the food utensils will not be engraved, the gentlemen will not wear silk shoes, and the horses will not be fed regularly.
After Ji Kang was executed, Shan Gong appointed Kang Zishao as Secretary. When Shao asked the Duke about his whereabouts, the Duke said, "I have been thinking about this for a long time! The four seasons of heaven and earth still have news, let alone people?"
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
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