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Yu Liang'er was killed by Su Junnan. Zhuge Daoming's daughter was Yu Er's wife. After she became a widow, she was about to remarry and wrote a letter to Liang about it. Liang replied, "The virtuous girl is still young, so it is appropriate. She is grateful for her lost son, as if he were still alive."
After Xie Zhonglang was defeated in Shouchun, he still asked for the jade stirrup before fleeing. When the Grand Tutor was in the army, he did not say anything about gain or loss. I still said, "Why should we bother with this now?"
When a gentleman is about to build a palace, the ancestral temple comes first, the stables and storehouses come second, and the living quarters come last. For all household construction, sacrificial utensils come first, sacrificial tribute comes second, and domestic utensils come last. Those without land and salary do not set up sacrificial utensils; those with land and salary first make sacrificial clothes. Even if a gentleman is poor, he does not eat porridge with sacrificial utensils; even if it is cold, he does not wear sacrificial clothes; when building a palace, he does not cut hills and trees. When a senior official or scholar leaves the country, sacrificial utensils are not overused. The senior officials shall leave the sacrificial vessels with the senior officials, and the scholars shall leave the sacrificial vessels with the scholars.
Pang Shiyuan of Nanjun heard that Sima Decao was in Yingchuan, so he traveled 2,000 miles to wait for him. When they arrived, they met Decao picking mulberry leaves. Shi Yuan said to him from inside the carriage, "I heard that a man should wear gold and purple when dealing with the world. How can he bend the flood and hold the silk women's affairs?" Decao said, "Get off the carriage for now. You know how to quickly go astray, and don't worry about losing your way. In the past, Bo Cheng worked in the fields with his wife, and did not envy the glory of the princes; Yuan Xian worked in the mulberry field, and was not interested in the official house. How can one sit in a luxurious house, ride a fat horse, and have dozens of maids, and then be extraordinary? This is why Xu and Fu were generous, and why Yi and Qi sighed for a long time. Even if one had stolen the title of Qin and had a wealth of thousands of horses, it would not be valuable enough!" Shi Yuan said, "I was born in a remote area, and I have rarely seen great principles. If you don't strike the loud bell or beat the thunder drum, you won't know their sound."
Someone ridiculed Zhou Pushe: "When he joked with his relatives and friends, he was vulgar and undisciplined." Zhou said: "I am like the Yangtze River, how can I not have a song for a thousand miles?"
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
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