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Arrogance cannot be allowed to grow excessive, desires cannot be followed, ambitions cannot be satisfied, and happiness cannot be taken to the extreme.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Confucius passed by the side of Mount Tai, a woman was crying at a grave. Confucius stood up and listened to her. He asked Zilu to ask her, "Your crying seems to be deeply worried." She said, "Yes, my uncle died of a tiger in the past, my husband also died there, and now my son has died there too." The Master asked, "Why don't you leave?" She said, "No harsh government." The Master said, "My boy, you know it. Harsh government is more fierce than a tiger."
The people of Jin said that Wen Zi knew people. Wen Zi was so withdrawn that he seemed to be unable to wear clothes, and his words were so quiet that they seemed to be out of his mouth. He recommended more than 70 families of officials in charge of the treasury of Jin. He did not make friends with them when he was alive, and did not ask them to be his sons when he died. Shu Zhongpi learned from Zi Liu. When Shu Zhongpi died, his wife was from Lu. She wore mourning clothes and mourning clothes. Shu Zhongyan reported it to him and asked him to wear mourning clothes and mourning clothes, saying, "I also did this when I lost my aunt and sister in the past. I did not prohibit it." He withdrew and asked his wife to wear mourning clothes and mourning clothes.
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