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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Yu Gong once entered a Buddhist temple and saw a reclining Buddha. He said, "This boy is tired from crossing the pier." This became a famous saying at the time.
Wang Ziyou and Zijing were both seriously ill, but Zijing died first. Ziyou asked his attendants, "Why haven't we heard any news? He is already dead!" He showed no sadness at all when he spoke. They asked for a sedan chair and came to the funeral, but did not cry. Zijing had always loved the zither, so he went straight in and sat on the coffin, took out Zijing's zither and played it. When the strings were out of tune, he threw it to the ground and said, "Zijing! Zijing! Both you and the zither are gone." He was in grief for a long time, and died more than a month later.
The one who is most benevolent has the most heavy mourning; therefore, for a father, he should wear mourning clothes for three years, which is a rule of benevolence. In the governance of the family, grace covers righteousness; in the governance of the family, righteousness cuts off grace. From serving the father to serving the king, and respecting the same, respecting the noble and respecting the elder, this is the greatest righteousness. Therefore, for a king, he should also wear mourning clothes for three years, which is a rule of righteousness.
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
The noble and the humble are clear, the noble and the noble are distinguished, the harmony is not excessive, the younger and the older are not left out, and the banquet is peaceful and not chaotic. These five elements are enough to correct oneself and make the country peaceful. If the country is peaceful, the world will be peaceful. Therefore, it is said: "I observe the township and know that the kingly way is easy."
The clothes are on the body, but it is not known that they are called "wang". If there is no candle and someone comes later, tell the one who is there. The same is true for the blind. Whenever someone drinks wine and offers it to the host, hold the candle and hold it until it is burnt. The guest gets up and says goodbye, and then give it to others. Hold the candle and do not give way, do not say goodbye, and do not sing. Those who wash and wash their hands and eat and drink should not be angry. If asked, they should answer with their sleeves. Offering sacrifices to others is called "zhifu"; offering sacrifices to oneself and offering food to a gentleman is called "shan"; offering sacrifices to the gentleman is called "gao". Whenever a meal is reported to a gentleman, the host will unfold it and give it to the messenger to the south of the steps on the east side, and face south and bow twice to send it off; when the order is returned, the host will bow again and bow. The ritual: for a large sacrifice, use nine pieces of the left shoulder, arm, and leg of an ox; for a small sacrifice, use seven pieces of the left shoulder of a sheep; for a special pig, use five pieces of the left shoulder of a pig. If the country is not poor, then the chariots will not be carved, the armor will not be woven, the food utensils will not be engraved, the gentlemen will not wear silk shoes, and the horses will not be fed regularly.
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