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Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
When Emperor Xiaowu of Jin was twelve years old, it was winter. He did not change his clothes during the day, but only wore five or six layers of single cotton clothes, and slept on a mat at night. Xie Gong advised, "Your Majesty's body should be kept in a regular state. Your Majesty is too cold during the day and too hot at night. I'm afraid this is not the right way to keep healthy." The emperor said, "Be active during the day and quiet at night." Xie Gong left and sighed, "You are no less rational than the previous emperor."
Emperor Ming asked Xie Kun: "How do you think you compare to Yu Liang?" Xie Kun replied: "In terms of being in charge of the government and guiding all officials, I am not as good as Liang. I think I am better than Liang in every way."
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
When Wang Zijing was seriously ill, the Taoist priest wrote a memorial to confess his faults and asked Zijing, "What are the similarities and differences, gains and losses?" Zijing said, "I don't think of anything else, but I remember divorcing the Xi family."
Whenever guests enter, each door should be opened to the guests. When the guest arrives at the bedroom door, the host invites him in and takes a seat, and then goes out to greet the guest. The guest insisted on declining, and the host invited him in. The host enters on the right, and the guest enters on the left. The host goes up the east steps, the guest goes up the west steps. If the guest wants to lower his status, he goes up the host's steps. The host firmly declined, and then the guest returned to the west steps. The host and the guest give way to each other and the host goes up first, followed by the guest, climbing up the steps together and walking up in succession. When going up the east steps, put your right foot first; when going up the west steps, put your left foot first.
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