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A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
When Confucius passed by the side of Mount Tai, a woman was crying at a grave. Confucius stood up and listened to her. He asked Zilu to ask her, "Your crying seems to be deeply worried." She said, "Yes, my uncle died of a tiger in the past, my husband also died there, and now my son has died there too." The Master asked, "Why don't you leave?" She said, "No harsh government." The Master said, "My boy, you know it. Harsh government is more fierce than a tiger."
The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
The study of memorizing and asking questions is not enough to be a teacher. It is necessary to listen to the words, and if you can't ask them, then tell them; if you don't understand after the words, you can just give up.
When holding the emperor's utensils, one should put on the balance, the king should balance, the great officials should rein it, and the scholars should carry it.
When Gongshu Wenzi died, his son Shu asked the king for a posthumous title, saying: "The sun and the moon have their time, and I will be buried. Please change his name." The king said: "In the past, Wei was in a disaster and famine, and the Master made porridge for the hungry people in the country. Wasn't it a kindness? In the past, Wei was in trouble, and the Master used his death to protect me. Wasn't it a loyalty? The Master listened to the government of Wei, improved its system, and made friends with the neighbors. The state of Wei was not humiliated. Wasn't it a culture? Therefore, the Master is called "Zhenhui Wenzi."
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