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"When I visited him, I found that it was Yi Shao, so I married my daughter to him.
When marrying a wife, one should not marry someone with the same surname as her. Therefore, if one buys a concubine but does not know her surname, one should consult the divination. If a widow's son has no opinion on him, he should not be friends with him.
The destiny of heaven is called nature, following nature is called the way, and cultivating the way is called teaching. The way cannot be separated for a moment, and it is not the way if it can be separated. Therefore, the gentleman is cautious about what he does not see and fearful of what he does not hear. Nothing is more hidden than the hidden, and nothing is more obvious than the subtle, so the gentleman is cautious when he is alone. When joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness are not expressed, it is called the middle; when they are expressed in moderation, it is called harmony; the middle is the great foundation of the world; harmony is the way of the world. When the middle and harmony are achieved, heaven and earth are in their proper places, and all things are nurtured.
Those who serve in the Grand Secretary of the Imperial Academy shall be seated three seats apart from each other, and may be asked questions. At the end, they shall lean against the wall. If the list of things is not finished, they shall not be asked. In all schools, the spring officials shall offer sacrifices to their ancestors, and the autumn and winter officials shall do the same. All newly established scholars must offer sacrifices to the sages and teachers; and when they do things, they must use money. All offerings must be made in harmony, otherwise it is not necessary for the country. All great music must be played to support the elderly. All those who speak in the suburbs must select the virtuous and gather talents. Some may be promoted by virtue, some by deeds, and some by words. All musical performances are sworn in, waiting for the next talk. If one of the three has achieved it, then he shall be promoted to a higher level, and according to his order, he shall be called a suburban person and kept away. It is the same as Chengjun and taking a title from the upper lord. When a newly established scholar has raised instruments and coins, he shall then offer food without dancing or giving instruments, and then leave. He shall be in the East Sequence, and offer once, without any interjection. Teach the crown prince.
When Huan Xuanwu was the governor of Xuzhou, Xie Yi was the governor of Jinling. First, you should have a rough experience of being open-minded, and then you will find nothing unusual. When Huan returned to Jingzhou and was about to go west, he was in high spirits and Yi did not doubt him. Only thanks to Hu Zi and his wife Wang for understanding his meaning. Always said: "Huan Jingzhou has ulterior motives. He will definitely go west with Jinling!" Then he appointed Yi as Sima. After Yi came up, he still pushed forward his friendship with common people. Sitting in Wen, with his head bowed, whistling and chanting, there was nothing unusual about the day. Xuanwu always said, "I am the Sima of the outer region." Then he drank too much and neglected the morning and evening etiquette. When Huanshe entered the house, Yi immediately followed him. Later, when Yi was drunk, Wen went to the master and asked him to avoid him. The Lord said, "Without the mad Sima, how could I meet him?"
When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
The legend says: "There are those who are light and heavy, and the wife of a prince is his aunt. There are those who are heavy and light, and the wife's parents. There are those who are without mourning and with mourning, and the prince's wife is his brother-in-law. There are those who are with mourning and without mourning, and the prince is his wife's parents." The legend says: "When the mother is divorced, the stepmother's party mourning is worn; when the mother dies, the stepmother's party mourning is worn. If the stepmother's party mourning is worn, then the stepmother's party mourning is not worn."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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