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Establishing power and measurement, examining articles, changing the calendar, changing the color of clothes, distinguishing emblems, different tools, and different clothes, these are what he obtains and changes with the people. There are some things that cannot be changed: loving one's relatives, respecting the elders, and distinguishing between men and women. These are things that cannot be changed with the people.
Xun Ciming met Yuan Lang of Runan and asked about the people of Yingchuan. Ciming mentioned his brothers first. Lang laughed and said, "Can a scholar be selected only because of his kinship?" Ciming said, "You are questioning me, what scripture are you basing your opinion on?" Lang said, "I was just asking about the country's scholars, but you mentioned my brothers, so I blame them." Ciming said, "In the past, Qi Xi recommended people from within the country without missing their sons, and recommended people from outside the country without missing their enemies, which was considered to be very fair. The poem of King Wen of Gongdan did not discuss the virtues of Yao and Shun, but praised Wen and Wu, which is the meaning of loving one's relatives. The meaning of the Spring and Autumn Annals is to include one's country within and exclude other countries. Moreover, if one does not love one's relatives but loves others, is it not against virtue?"
Zhi Daolin, Xu Yuan and others were all at Wangzhai in Kuaiji. Zhi is the master and Xu is the lecturer. The meaning of this passage is the same, and everyone in the audience is disgusted. When Xu sent a difficult question, everyone danced with joy. But we all admire the beauty of the two schools of thought without arguing about their logic.
Wang Hun’s second wife was a daughter of Yan from Langya. At that time, Wang was the governor of Xuzhou. After exchanging greetings, Wang was about to return the greeting, but the onlookers all said, "The king is a marquis and a governor of the state, and the new bride is a citizen of the state. I am afraid there is no way for us to return the greeting." So the king stopped. Wu Zi was afraid that his father did not respond to his greeting and the ceremony was not completed, so he was afraid that they were not husband and wife; he did not bow for him and said that he was Yan's concubine. The Yan family was ashamed of it. Because of his noble family background, I dared not leave.
As a son: While parents are still alive, your clothes do not have to be purely plain. There is an orphan in the room, and his hat and clothes are not of pure color.
Those who follow others in mourning should not mourn until their parents are gone. Those who follow others should mourn even when their parents are dead. If a concubine leaves a female ruler, she should not mourn for the female ruler's son. According to etiquette, there is no sacrifice without the king. The crown prince does not lower his wife's parents; his wife is the same as the son of a senior official. If the father is a scholar and the son is the emperor or a prince, then sacrifices are made to the emperor or a prince, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If the father is the emperor or a prince and the son is a scholar, sacrifices are made to the scholar, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If a woman leaves the house when she is in mourning, she should be removed. If she leaves the house before mourning for her parents, she should be mourned for three years. If she leaves the house after mourning, it is over. If she returns without mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time; if she returns after mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time.
Zisi said: "After three days of mourning, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the body must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. After three months, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the coffin must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. Three years of mourning is the limit, and once a person dies, he will not forget it. Therefore, a gentleman has a lifetime of worries, but no worries of one day. Therefore, he does not rejoice on the anniversary of his death."
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