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Marry into a noble family

"There are three levels of ruling the world, and there are few mistakes! The superior ones, although good, have no evidence, and without evidence, they are not trusted, and without trust, the people will not follow; the inferior ones, although good, are not respected, and without respect, they are not trusted, and without trust, the people will not follow. Therefore, the way of a gentleman: to base it on oneself, to test the common people, to examine the three kings without error, to establish it in heaven and earth without contradiction, to question the ghosts and gods without doubt, and to wait for the saints for a hundred generations. And not confused. To question ghosts and gods without doubt is to know heaven; to wait for a sage for hundreds of generations without doubt is to know people. Therefore, a gentleman acts as the way of the world, acts as the law of the world, and speaks as the rule of the world. If you are far away, you will have hope; if you are close, you will not be tired. The Book of Songs says: "There is no harm there, and there is no shooting here. I hope I can work hard day and night to achieve eternal praise!" There is no gentleman who does not do this, and he will be praised by the world early. "

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When parents die, before offering sacrifices, brothers die; after the funeral, offering sacrifices are made. If they are in the same palace, even if they are servants or concubines, offering sacrifices are made after the funeral. During sacrifices, the host's ranks are divided, and the attendants are also divided. Even the Yu Fu are the same. From the princes to the scholars, during the minor sacrifices, the host spits when offering wine; the guests and brothers all spit at it. For the major sacrifices, the host spits, and the guests and brothers all drink it. Those who attend the sacrifices and funerals tell the guests to offer sacrifices but not to eat.

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When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.